Health and Beauty Tips!

Certified Ass Puncher

Dear Diary,

I find myself once again on the cutting edge, smack in the center of the next big thing…(drumroll) I am an official, Certified Ass Puncher…LA’s first!  And I just celebrated the grand opening of my clinic which for right now is in my apartment but once this takes off, I’ll be moving to a facility that will offer full spa services.

I know what you’re wondering: ‘What is Ass Punching?’  It is nothing less than the next trendy beauty treatment and was developed by a Thai couple in San Francisco  who were inspired by the Face Slapping Spa. By repeatedly slapping the client’s face, the clinician can increase blood flow and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.  This was such a huge success in the Bay Area that a new method based on the same technique was developed. Voila!  Ass Punching became a thing. I read in LA Weekly that they were offering franchise opportunities and I decided to jump on it. For a mere $5000 (which I put entirely on my credit card!) I was granted the exclusive franchise for LA! This company has thought of everything; they gave me an educational DVD which demonstrates the proper technique PLUS a complete toolkit including boxing gloves, alcohol wipes, business cards, a framed license and (inexplicably) a can of mace


Carlotta Beautox–Lady Entrepreneur

I put an ad in my front window and before I knew it…ding-dong! My first client!  My first CLIENTS I should say…4 men lined up on the porch. How exciting! It would have been slightly more exciting if they didn’t look so sketchy. I don’t want to sound judge-y (I HATE when people make assumptions based on appearances) so I took a risk. One of them filmed the procedure on his phone, he told me I was making an important social contribution and it (and yours truly) deserved to be taped. In the end they turned out to be guys who were as interested in self-improvement as I am. The promise of an aesthetically fine rear end is after all what we all seek and I only had to use the mace once!

Ciao for niao!


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