A Lotta Carlötta

The Origin of Beautox

Dear Diary,
You may be wondering where Carlötta Beautox came from.  Not the physical place she came from (Little Reading, NJ, BTW) but really where her name came from.  When I moved to Hollywood years ago the first bit of advice I got was to change my name and that’s how Karen Kinnicki became Carlötta Beautox.  My manager Dave thought I needed something mysterious and catchy and foreign sounding.  He suggested Carlötta and I thought of Beautox because it sounds so French!  The overall effect is Old World European, money, class but with a modern flair.  That’s me.


“Umlauts:  Every Serious Actress Should Have One” — Carlötta Beautox 2015  

Dave is a wonderful manager, so intuitive (Aquarius, natch) with a keen ear and eye for marketing. With his many years of experience Dave observed that your chance of standing out goes up substantially if your name has punctuation (like Beyonce’) and sounds French (ditto Beyonce’–clearly Miss Knowles is on to something!).  I figure Carlötte Beautox increases the probability of stardom by about 40% at least.  Plus I think names with X’s just sound sexy.  It’s subliminal.

Once, during an open casting call for a Guthy-Renker infomercial gig (they were looking for 30-something moms to demonstrate the George Foreman grill) some pipsqueak no-nothing casting assistant mispronounced my name– “Botox!” and every head in the room turned.  Ass. I had to correct him–“It’s pronounced Beau-TOX, emphasis on the 2nd syllable.”  People are just so dum.  Anyway, I didn’t get the gig.  This jerk had so gotten in my head that all of my acting technique went out the window.  I was supposed to look enthusiastic over the George Foreman grill’s ability to cook boneless chicken and I just couldn’t smile big enough I guess, the director kept yelling “More! More” They hired some totally fat woman…like a size 6. She just could not stop smiling over the grilled chicken.  I wanted to punch her in the face.  Whatever.  Onward.
With love,

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